Plasmapheresis

I'd like to tell the story of the time I went and donated plasma for money.

It was at 7 AM by the U of U ARUP so I just kept thinking this place is going to be legit! There won't be any creeps there at all. I get to the place and there is already about 6 people there waiting. Everyone is talking like they know each other and chatting it up pretty good. One lady is asking who everyone prefers to be stuck by and how she won't do it unless Mohamed sticks her. It was odd. I watch a very legitimate video on an unlegit TV in a scary room. After many different waiting periods and having to tell everyone that works there what my breakfast consisted of, it was a big waffle with peanut butter and syrup and a half a chub of chicken, I am brought through the screening and I had to get a physical too. As I wait I'm just hoping that my nausea will go away because 6:30 is not my usual time to eat a big waffle with peanut butter and a chub of chicken. So finally after some more waiting and drinking water and holding it because I can't go to the bathroom again (I had to pee in a cup earlier and I was still frightened by the bathroom), I get to the floor. The floor is where the plasmapheresis occurs. there is about 30 beds with what looks like a huge cassette tape player thing next to it. I sit down and guess who comes over? None other than Mohamed. Thats comforting. Then I look at his white smock... or rather a smock that was white at one point in its life here at the Life Sera plasma center. It looked like it was splattered with the blood of many victims. Mohamed was a butcher. I was going to die. It is really cold in the building so its almost impossible to make my veins pop up but the incomparable Mohamed stuck my arm perfectly. He then proceeds to tell me my rights as a donor and proper procedure if something goes wrong... I think. What I heard was, "sho if de macheen goes wrong duirring prrocedure den the blud mumble mumble emerrgensee mumble mumble but ees okay dis won't happen to you." They get me going on the machine (mine was named named Ralph, the machine across from me was named the Bloodinator 6000) and I put in my headphones and I pull out the Bon Appetit magazine I grabbed on my way to the floor. Mohamed reassures me that they will help me if anything goes wrong again, "eef you feel not sho goood rraize hcand." Two minutes later my body felt like I was being sucked dry! I'm tingling all over and everything sounds muffled. I 'raise hand' and Mohamed rushes to my rescue saying, "We have reaction!" After some menopause-like hot flashes they returned the blood to my system minus the 5 (big) vials of blood to test and the plasma they took out. I only ended up donating about 180 mL of the total 625 mL I was supposed to give of my yellowish plasma but I still got paid a cool $40. End of story not that traumatic except for the rest of my day I basically fell asleep whenever I sat down but it was an interesting experience... that I never wish to have again.